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Essay on how dating has chages

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The technologies we use on a daily basis do not merely change the ways, logistically, we pursue love; they are in some cases transforming the way we think and feel about what, exactly, it is we should be pursuing.

They change not simply how we find our beloved, but the kind of beloved we hope to find.

Recall Andrea Dworkin’s infamous equation of marriage and rape, or Germaine Greer’s terrifying rant in : “Love, love, love — all the wretched cant of it, masking egotism, lust, masochism, fantasy under a mythology of sentimental postures, a welter of self-induced miseries and joys, blinding and masking the essential personalities in the frozen gestures of courtship, in the kissing and the dating and the desire, the compliments and the quarrels which vivify its barrenness.” Much of this work is merely an unpersuasive attempt to swaddle basic human bitterness in the language of female empowerment.

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As Leon Kass persuasively argued in an essay in , the obstacles to courtship “spring from the very heart of liberal democratic society and of modernity altogether.” The automobile did more for unsupervised sexual exploration than many technologies in use today, for example, and by twentieth century’s end, the ease and availability of effective contraceptive devices, especially the birth control pill, had freed men and women to pursue sexual experience without the risk of pregnancy.

How do our ubiquitous technologies — cell phones, e-mail, the Internet — impact our ability to find and experience love?

Our technical devices are of such extraordinary practical use that we forget they are also increasingly the primary medium for our emotional expression.

Courtship as it once existed — a practice that assumed adherence to certain social conventions, and recognition of the differences, physical and emotional, between men and women — has had its share of pleased obituarists.

The most vigorous have been feminists, the more radical of whom appear to take special delight in quelling notions of romantic love.